|
[ Home ] [ A Forced GET ] [ Marriage and Divorce - Concepts and Laws ] [ Marriage is a Mezuzah ] [ Mamzerim Among Us ] [ Ostracizing the Husband ] [ Ostracizing ] [ A Peaceful GET ] [ NO MORE SILENCE! ] [ question, comment ]
What is GET MEUSO
גט מעושה?
Rabbi Dovid Eidensohn
-
1) What is GET MEUSO,
גט מעושה? A husband must give a GET willingly. What if the
husband does not want to give a GET? Certain types of pressure are
permitted and some not. A GET given through the wrong pressure is
invalid, and is known as a Forced GET, or GET Meuso.
-
A thousand years ago, and even later
in many countries, a woman who demanded a GET was given one, if she
complained that her husband is MAH-OOS AW-LEI מאוס
עלי or repugnant.
-
The Beth Din or Rabbinical Court
would enforce this, even coercing the husband to give a GET. About
700 years ago, this practice was blocked in Spain by Rabbeinu Osher,
the ROSH. Subsequently, the coercion was not practiced in most
countries. For a time afterwards, if a Beth Din did force the
husband to give a GET when the wife demanded one as above, it is not
clear if others would not honor the GET. Today, the custom is to
refuse such GETs, and probably if one was made it would not be
honored by anyone.
-
All the above applies to a woman who
demands a divorce simply because she cannot tolerate the husband,
for reasons of her own. There are, however, cases where the Beth Din
itself may force a GET, but these are rare.
-
Does all of this mean anything to us
today? Definitely. If the great rabbis of a thousand years ago saw a
necessity to free a married woman from a marriage she did not want,
we must also see such a necessity.
-
We cannot force the husband to
divorce, but we must be aware that the marriage itself presents a
problem. There are two problems with a woman in such a marriage.
One, she has no marriage, and may decide to get her sex elsewhere,
which is adultery. This is a danger to her, and a danger to the
community. If she has a child, it is a mamzer, which is a danger to
the entire world.
-
Then there is the issue of
sensitivity. As Rambam writes, in his seconding of the opinion that
we force the husband to give a GET when his wife demands it. A
woman, says Rambam, is not a captive. If she wants freedom, she must
have it.
-
Today, a woman who demands a GET
because her husband is repugnant to her, presents a great dilemna.
We cannot force the husband to divorce her, but we understand how
dangerous the situation is, and how her rights are being violated.
She is not a captive, but she is stuck in a marriage she does not
want.
-
A husband must take notice of this.
There are many reasons to advance why not to give a GET. However,
the husband is not solving a serious situation, where the woman may
sin. He is also forcing a woman to remain in a relationship she does
not want.
-
Rabbi Yehuda the Chosid says that we
have in life opportunities to hurt people very much with our
dominance. We have wives, and they are essentially helpless if we
want to treat them without proper sensitivity. We have people who
work for us who can be devastated by an insensitive look. For this,
says the Chosid, we will be punished by G-d who demands kindness and
sensitivity, and not power at another's expense.
-
Rabbi Yehuda the Chosid says that one
who overworks and animal and who is cruel to an animal will be
treated like an animal after his death.
-
How frightening is the Eternal
punishment for someone who was insensitive in this world. A husband
who denies his wife a GET may be in this category. Only HaShem
knows. But if the husband should give a GET and does not, his
punishment will be terrible.
-
A woman who needs a GET is a
community responsibility. There are people who know how to get a GET
from a bitter and broken husband, and those who do not. The right
people can save two people from destruction in this world and the
next. The wrong person can do the opposite.
|